That I lost cause
One of the best events that happened in my entire life Now I live a containerized life
Who has not the spirit of his age, Has all the misfortune of his age
- Voltaire Partially agree But I surpassed and survived
Raindrop
I remember I wrote in my daily diary as an elementary schooler (maybe 2nd?) that the sound of raindrop, the bouncing sound onto ground, onto umbrella, was joyful and interesting Now? ... Whenever I recall that, I feel great sadness It also reminds me of what Schopenhauer wrote: When in my young days there was a ring at the door, I was pleased, for I thought, 'now it might come'; but in later years on the same occasion my feelings were rather akin to dread and I thought 'here it comes'.
여행을 떠나렵니다
모든 未練과 아쉬움, 그리움들을 뒤로한 채, 꺼지지 않는 불빛을 간직한 채, 머나먼 여행을 떠나렵니다...
A corollary
cannot be better, cannot be worse cannot be happier, cannot be unhappier should not expect / hope a better future no need to worry about a worse future outside the boundary of what's possible at the moment Is it a blessing?
Every single thing has its own cost
Even a strand of thinking has cost
Wear out (Aging)
We wear out as we get older because as we get older, effort-reward ratio is getting fucked up Less and less things are new Less and less things feel special Less and less things interest us Yes we are getting bored of life, the world It's natural just like we are getting bored if we continue to play one game over and over When we were infants, just being able to moving our own arms was fascinating Think about the phenomenon that old people are oftentimes weak at new changes Why? In order to learn new things, they have to use their brain power But the return for that is minimal, because they can't get much happiness from it, which in turn is because they've lived longer so that what the world offers is less new That is what I meant by "effort-reward ratio is getting fucked up" When our 'focus' is directed towards external, wearing out happens faster, because the outer world is limited When our 'focus' is directed towards internal, wearing out can possibly be prevented, because the internal is infinite
Exponential
Already the greatest, but the primest time has yet to come I feel like exponential
From internal to external
How dumb We were kings We were gods We were invincible Everything was in the grasp But As we grow older We resign, step down and kneel to the common ground and live as commons How dumb The world constantly lures / pulls you out Everything except you pulls you out from yourself The only possible source of counter / resisting force is you P.S. As infants, we don't know what's primary, and what's secondary As non-infants, we firmly consider external as primary, and internal as secondary
The concept that the magnitude of coping should be environment-independent
(environment includes time) (The direction of coping can be environment-dependent Or...should it also be environment-independent? It's something to consider...) It's tiring, exhausting It's burdensome but at the same time It's liberating