It's a big shame
It's a big shame that I haven't fully trusted my own assessment or valuation When I heard "black color is overrated" (in fashion), I started to doubt myself and slightly regret my color choice for my gloves How shameful I searched what centimeter is "best" for trouser hem (4cm? 5cm? 6cm?) even though there were trousers before my eyes and could see how each option would look like How shameful When an idea struck me that Christopher Reeve was the most handsome guy, I started to search whether there were others who agreed with me Essentially speaking, I was begging for validation How shameful When people called movie The Godfather or A Clockwork Orange masterpieces, I thought alike even though I couldn't fully understand why How shameful When people called Don Quixote the greatest novel, I read and convinced myself alike How shameful When they said to unbutton the bottom button, I followed without second thought and felt "I learned something basic / commonsense" (in the sense of "unquestionable") How shameful When they said broccoli is healthy but not tasty, even though I liked its taste, I started to feel as if eating broccoli takes me some effort or willpower How shameful When they said this and that haircuts were looking good, even though I felt that those are not my things, I tried to follow their advice Even though I have eyes and can see my looks in the mirror! How shameful! Even though I could feel myself what bodily movement makes my body well-stretched and feel good, I didn't do that because that's what others didn't give that stretching a 'name' (e.g. the exact movement was not mentioned by others). I always did stretches that others recommended How shameful Exactly the opposite to the above as it may sound, but in my life, I've been more of a person who has minor and independent opinions, being proud of it I bet that I'm influenced by others much less than most people (Most of my life's major decisions have been against major opinions) Even though that's the case, Even though I felt okay about being against major opinions in my whole life, looking back now, I realize that I also have been influenced a lot, despite the degree being much less than others, but to the degree enough to humiliate me Moreover, I feel like, in many cases I've continually sought validation from so-called minorities that are still big enough, that I consider to be more insightful and have better taste How shameful Before long, babies are going to learn how to walk by watching 'how to walk' video